All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
