Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
