I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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