one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
