I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
