I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She announced her abortion via fbk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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