i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
