I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize