I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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