How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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