Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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