I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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