I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
