About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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