I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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