the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
