he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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