Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
