he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
