i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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