Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
