I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
