please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
