Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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