Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At least make sure they are 18
Why
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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