there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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