Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
