I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
