I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
