Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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