I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
