Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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