Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
