I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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