he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
