ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
