my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
