If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
