you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
