do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
