So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
