my mouth tastes like poor choices
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
