So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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