is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
