i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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