Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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