covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
