Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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