Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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