my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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